Tag: autism

• Project Families, Automatic Urinals, and Self-Diagnosed Autism – Thoughts from September 1, 2024

  

  Here we are at the beginning of Patti’s birthday month. I’m still waiting on an itinerary of our Route 66 trip. Does this make me nervous? Of course it does. Patti is very good at keeping me in the dark about specifics. Projects we do together always winds up with me trying to find out…

  Brian Kirwan

  August 5, 2025

  Uncategorized

  2024, anxiety, authentic form of communication, autism, autism spectrum, autistic traits, automatic toilets, automatic urinal, behaviors of autism, birthday month, covering the sensor, depression, doing projects, easily distracted, exact sequence, going to concerts, happier being myself, hiding who I am, lack of control in life, learning to sew, looking people in the eye, loud noises, manual button, masking, mental health, official diagnosis, Patti, problems with crowds, removing myself, Route 66 trip, self-diagnosed autism, sensory issues, sensory overload, special allowances, thoughts, water keeps running, working with wood

• Creativity and Shyness – Thoughts from August 19 and 31, 2024

  

  August 19, 2024 I’ve talked with several people about my throat. I told them about the polyp on my vocal cords. The singer I talked to said she has had them on her vocal cords. She had them removed with surgery. A former nurse said trying the dietary changes made sense before going right for…

  Brian Kirwan

  July 29, 2025

  Uncategorized

  2024, animations, autism, autobiographies, balsa wood, being gay, being shy, building things, creating candles, creating crap, creating songs, creative pursuits, creative skills, depression, dietary changes, drawings, encouraging environment, encouraging parents, encouraging people, experimental ideas, hippies, introduced myself, LGBTQ, musical creations, new person at work, new situations, painting ceramics, polyp on my vocal cord, shyness bubble, signs of autism, singing, singing too much, surgery, thinking is my favorite hobby, thoughts, Thoughts paper, throat problems, vocal cords, Wordscapes, Wordscapes tournament, writing, writings

• Ignoring Other People and My Moth Friend – Thoughts from May 20 and 21, 2023

  

  May 20, 2023 I’m on day six of eight days of working the same earlier shift. It’s only two hours off the shift I enjoy better, but it’s an annoying two hours. The most annoying part about it is feeling tired every day. If I told you when I was coming to work, you would…

  Brian Kirwan

  May 23, 2024

  Uncategorized

  2023, abnormal jobs, autism, being an atheist, bored or freaked out, boring people, carefull word choice, caring about other people, catering stories to the group, connecting to other people, conversations about religion, coworker, drumming in the air, exciting people, experiencing the world, ignoring other people, ignoring the world, incidence, interesting people, little creatures, looking strangers in the eye, loud clothes, moth, moth on my windshield, movements as communication, my Monday, my moth friend, no beliefs, observations, Other People Exist, people’s stories, shyness, snoozes, stimulus, storytelling, the early shift, thoughts, tired, unpleasantness of the world, videoing, weird stories, work

• Automatic Paper Towel Dispensers and Speaking Cat – Thoughts from March 5 and 8, 2023

  

  March 5, 2023 I’ve been listening to a book called Animals in Translation by Temple Grandin. She is autistic and has a similar connection to animals that I have. I speak fluent cat and could learn to speak other animal languages. The languages of other animals are mostly non-verbal. Many people have a problem with…

  Brian Kirwan

  April 16, 2024

  Uncategorized

  2023, abnormal behavior, animal languages, animal senses, animals, Animals in Translation, autism, automatic paper towel dispenser, communicating, connection to animals, fast medium and slow, human behavior, I speak cat, interests, jobs, judge a restroom, looking to money to make us happy, money, money can’t buy love or happiness, nicer restrooms, non-verbal languages, obsessing over money, Patti, physical language, restroom, sights sounds or smells, slow dispensers, speaking cat, speaking English to cats, super poor, super rich, Temple Grandin, thoughts, tiny switches, tone, unnatural lives, written language

• Anxious Nerd – Thoughts from August 28 to September 8, 2022

  

  August 28, 2022 I think I used to be more of a nerd, but now I’m just a recovering nerd. Reading back on my Thoughts papers tells me how much of a nerd I was. I talked about working on computers and other nerdy technical issues I was dealing with. Today, my nerdiest issues are…

  Brian Kirwan

  December 26, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, A-hole behavior, A-holes, adult children, anxiety, anxiety medication, anxious adult, anxious child, autism, cartoons, childhood, computers, earliest memory, fantasy, few friends, first grade, grade school, hobby nerd, humorous, I care about other people, I thought I failed kindergarten, internet, issues, junior first, making friends, mortgage and taxes, nerd, nerdy career, nerdy skills, Other People Exist, Patti, reality police, recovering nerd, regular bills, science fiction, stories, stuffed animals, thoughts, Thoughts papers, tickets, toys, traumas

• Staring at Your Phone – Thoughts from August 23 and 25, 2022

  

  August 23, 2022 I just saw a large gentleman wearing black shorts with white socks that went all the way up his legs until they disappeared into his shorts. What is the use of wearing shorts if you’re going to cover up your legs with socks. Besides the fact that it looks completely ridiculous, it…

  Brian Kirwan

  December 21, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, acting weird in the restroom, autism, autism spectrum, bad habits, bathroom, behavior, black shorts with white socks, can’t walk anymore, cravings, distracting myself, extra wide wheelchair, fixing boards, food conversations, foods, fruits, grandmother, health issues, health problems, healthy food, healthy foods that tastes good, how food tastes, illogical, just sitting in a stall, large and old, large gentleman, long pants, looking at their phones, looks ridiculous, lying, making most of their lives miserable, moments of pleasure, old person like me, Patti, physical problems, Samantha Irby, scowl on his face, sitting in silence, strained steps, talking about food, thoughts, tree branch, trees, unethical, unhealthy behaviors, urinal, vacuuming, vegetables, waddling walk, what they believe is wrong with them, working

• Fighting Brothers – Thoughts from August 15 and 16, 2022

  

  August 15, 2022 Yesterday, I kept getting interrupted by work. I only had one thought. Actually, I had many thoughts, but I only had time to write one of them. Today is a whole new story. I should be able to think my brains out and write most of them. I have plenty of sit…

  Brian Kirwan

  December 12, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, autism, back tensing up, being unique, books, brotherly influence, brothers, changing premise, collecting stories, complex problems, conversational impasse, coworkers, disabled me, fantasy and science fiction stories, fights, fulfill a niche, future books, heightened sensitivities, highly sensitive person, humorous nonfiction, just another problem, least favorite things, least masculine male, lesbian trapped in a male body, literary agents, male influences, many thoughts, masculine traits, my brain, my style, not a fan, only brothers, only child, only sisters, opposite of me, paragraph structure, problems dealing with the world, published legitimately, publisher, Reality Acceptance, self-published book, sensory issues, sexiest humor, short story, simple answers, sisters, sit and wait, solved, sports, stress, think my brains out, thoughts, Thoughts papers, too many thoughts, understanding a person, violence, working, writing

• X Chromosome – Thoughts from July 30 and August 1, 2022

  

  July 30, 2022 The past few days have been weird, but not in a good way. I had to sit still on a freeway for hours and eventually get off the freeway by driving the wrong way. I gained 3.7 pounds in one day (not my personal record, but close). The day before, I got…

  Brian Kirwan

  November 28, 2023

  Uncategorized

  1991, 2022, advantages and disadvantages, airport run, autism, autistic, blog, book, by subject, capable, caring about other people, chromosomes, chronilogical order, context, crying, entertaining, female, feminine qualities, freeway, future note, gay relationships, glasses, hang ups, having kids, I’m a different person, intimate relationships, kids, male, monogamy, mutated, mutated X chromosome, not wired for monogamy, podcast, polygamy, reading, reality is my friend, relationships, scientist, sex, shut down, still on the freeway for hours, stories, superpower, theoretical gold star, theoretical internet money, thoughts, Thoughts from Life, Thoughts papers, we are not wired at all, weight, weird days, writing, wrong way, XX, XY

• Writer Dude Stories – Thoughts from July 24, 2022

  

  We have a new person who works in our department who I hardly ever see because she works mornings and I work at night. I told her, “I hardly ever see you. Tell me something interesting about yourself.” She told me about her past jobs and that one of her sons has autism. She talked…

  Brian Kirwan

  November 16, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, anxieties, athletes, autism, autistic, autistic child, autistic traits, backstories, boring jobs, boring story, care about people, cats, characters, competition, conflicts, cooperation, dull people, embarassment, feminine qualities, fictional stories, happily ever after, humor, judgements against strangers, judging, new person, perfect and boring, positive attitude, positivity, reality, ridged thinking, singular focus, something interesting about you, sports, stories, story with no conflict, thought elephant in the room, thoughts, Thoughts papers, time, underdeveloped, wasn’t diagnosed, we all have stories, work, write your own thoughts, Writer Dude, writing

• The Reality of Shyness – Thoughts from July 17 to 19, 2022

  

  July 17, 2022 It’s the birthday of the place I work. We have food trucks all over and they are giving burgers to all the employees. I gave my meal away to another employee and found out it was his third of the day. Someone else brought in donuts. I ate my regular food because…

  Brian Kirwan

  November 9, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, alone, antidote to anxiety is knowledge, autism, book, burgers, complex realities, control myself, conversation about nothing, conversations, conversations with women, diverse knowledge, diverse people, donuts, favorite bosses were female, female teachers, food trucks, free food, genuine conversation, hate, hearing conversations, ignorance, knowledge, male teachers, men, misogyny, most men, my happiest and healthiest self, no point to the conversation, no politics, no religion, no sports, opposite of me, perspective on life, power and money, pro-science atheists, Reality Acceptance, reality denial, relatable topics, Sesame Street, Sesame Street for adults, shy, shy kid, shyness, social monster, teach about reality, TED Talk, The Highly Sensitive Person, the unknown, thoughts, Thoughts papers, trust women, website, welcoming, women, worries of youth, young and shy