Tag: thoughts

• Dream Wedding – Thoughts from August 17 and 20, 2022

  

  August 17, 2022 I was listening to a story where a young man was saying he had not had sex yet. Implied was that he had a goal of having sex and didn’t want to die without having it. It made me think about the goal of having sex for the first time. It is…

  Brian Kirwan

  December 14, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2003, 2022, appreciating mom, appreciating mom for one day, appreciation in words, Assessor’s office, at my lowest, behavior, clartity, crappy year, data entry, disappointed, dream wedding, emotional satisfaction, goal, having sex, having sex for the first time, incomplete goals, just have sex, leaving, marriage, new glasses, night vision, numbers up close, people’s beliefs, perfection, pleasant sex, relationship, sex, simple goals, story, suicidal thoughts, teenagers, thinking ahead, thoughts, transition lenses, treating other people well, wanting a wedding, weddings, young man

• Fighting Brothers – Thoughts from August 15 and 16, 2022

  

  August 15, 2022 Yesterday, I kept getting interrupted by work. I only had one thought. Actually, I had many thoughts, but I only had time to write one of them. Today is a whole new story. I should be able to think my brains out and write most of them. I have plenty of sit…

  Brian Kirwan

  December 12, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, autism, back tensing up, being unique, books, brotherly influence, brothers, changing premise, collecting stories, complex problems, conversational impasse, coworkers, disabled me, fantasy and science fiction stories, fights, fulfill a niche, future books, heightened sensitivities, highly sensitive person, humorous nonfiction, just another problem, least favorite things, least masculine male, lesbian trapped in a male body, literary agents, male influences, many thoughts, masculine traits, my brain, my style, not a fan, only brothers, only child, only sisters, opposite of me, paragraph structure, problems dealing with the world, published legitimately, publisher, Reality Acceptance, self-published book, sensory issues, sexiest humor, short story, simple answers, sisters, sit and wait, solved, sports, stress, think my brains out, thoughts, Thoughts papers, too many thoughts, understanding a person, violence, working, writing

• Out on a Live Stage – Thoughts from August 10 and 14, 2022

  

  August 10, 2022 I’m almost glad that the nervousness of performing live was too much for me. If I could do it easily, I would not be as happy and healthy as I am. I don’t like watching live performances so I don’t know why I thought I would ever want to perform live. Whether…

  Brian Kirwan

  December 7, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2004, 2022, accepting you are gay, acting, admitting you are gay, anti-gay stance, applying, being honest with yourself, believe in yourself, believing in religion, concert, daily workings, dementia, Disneyland, drunk A-holes, exclusion, family reaction, fast forward, fear, gay, happy, healthy, illogical, ingoring your surroundings, live events, live performances, live shows, living a lie, misconceptions, my body is just a meat sack, nervousness, not pleasurable, performing live, rejected, religion, short thought, singing, South Park, supernatural being, telling jokes, thoughts, Thoughts from Life blog, Thoughts papers, tour of nowhere, understandable but sad, valuing religion over people, voice performance, volume, work, writing

• Toys and Charlie Manson – Thoughts from August 7 to 9, 2022

  

  August 7, 2022 Today’s Thoughts paper is brought to you by sleep. I’m looking forward to getting some tonight. I’ve dropped a lot of things today. Being tired will do that to you. I’m too tired to have many thoughts. I promise to have more tomorrow. August 8, 2022 I was going to work today…

  Brian Kirwan

  December 5, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, action figures, anxiety, anxiety provoking, as a kid, Charles Manson, Charlie, Charlie Manson, daughter, driving down the street and back, dropping things, faded words, freeway, granddaughter, Harley Davison motorcycle, hateful words, living with mom, local Charlie, Manson died, middle-aged man, mobile home, multiple toys, no job, no one would employ him, one toy, open the box, out-of-control hair, parents took me to Toys R Us, regret, research, riding a bike, sad future, screaming obscenities, selling drugs, short motorcycle rides, sleep, stuffed animals, thoughts, Thoughts paper, tired, too tired, tough decisions, toys, Toys R Us, Toys R Us truck, urging his suicide, video games, wrong decision

• Men’s Restrooms – Thoughts from August 2 and 3, 2022

  

  August 2, 2022 As I was driving to work today, I saw a truck with a bumper sticker that said, “Dirty Hands Clean Money.” For the longest time, I could only read the first three words. I did not know what the last word could be. The one thing I thought of was “Heart.” I…

  Brian Kirwan

  November 30, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, accusations, All-American Asphalt, asphalt, bumper sticker, capitalism, climate change, clothing line, comment, competitive crap, convicted, dirty hands, Dirty Hands Clean Money, dirty jobs, dirty money, disgusting A-holes, fame seeking parents, fasten his belt, Heart, horrible American company, male membership card, men’s restroom, Michael Jackson, nationalism, not washing your hands, pedophilia, podcast, pride, radio, restroom, scared, single person restroom, soap, stall, the news, thoughts, Truck, unclean, uncomfortable, weird, words are not facts, work truck

• X Chromosome – Thoughts from July 30 and August 1, 2022

  

  July 30, 2022 The past few days have been weird, but not in a good way. I had to sit still on a freeway for hours and eventually get off the freeway by driving the wrong way. I gained 3.7 pounds in one day (not my personal record, but close). The day before, I got…

  Brian Kirwan

  November 28, 2023

  Uncategorized

  1991, 2022, advantages and disadvantages, airport run, autism, autistic, blog, book, by subject, capable, caring about other people, chromosomes, chronilogical order, context, crying, entertaining, female, feminine qualities, freeway, future note, gay relationships, glasses, hang ups, having kids, I’m a different person, intimate relationships, kids, male, monogamy, mutated, mutated X chromosome, not wired for monogamy, podcast, polygamy, reading, reality is my friend, relationships, scientist, sex, shut down, still on the freeway for hours, stories, superpower, theoretical gold star, theoretical internet money, thoughts, Thoughts from Life, Thoughts papers, we are not wired at all, weight, weird days, writing, wrong way, XX, XY

• Test Results – Thoughts from July 26 and 28, 2022

  

  July 26, 2022 I really should save this thought until tomorrow, but I had it today so screw you, Tomorrow. It involves the number 27. I think we should declare the age 27 as the early change of life. I got married when I was 27 so that was a definite change for me. Many…

  Brian Kirwan

  November 23, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, 27, about this test, accepting of emotions, age 27, blood in the stool, celebration, coincidence, commemorate July 27th, computer glasses, crying, died at age 27, doctor, extra pair of glasses, eye doctor, famous people, feces sample, future note, home office, learning, lesson, life events, mail, major life decision, married, movie stars, negative results, new glasses, no written thoughts, Patti, results, rock stars, scientific, stool, sweat and think, sweaty job, tears, test, test results, thoughts, Thoughts papers, trauma, twenty-seven, why, woman, write more, writing

• Fictional Stories of Belief – Thoughts from July 25, 2022

  

  I had a thought as I was driving to work, and I sent myself a note about it. I will now expound upon it in the storage locker of my thoughts. It continues my previous musing about telling your story. Your beliefs are not part of your story so you should not include them when…

  Brian Kirwan

  November 21, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, accept reality, actions, alternate timeline, animator, autobiographies, autobiography, bad storytelling, beliefs, believe, complex, data entry, dealing with life, denying reality, Disney, distracted, distractions, driving, experiences, explaining a joke, fictional, fictional autobiography, how to interpret your story, ignoring reality, inescapable realities, metaphors, nonstop, note, noticing everything, our stories, people hate me, perfected the art of living, reality, reality is not funny on its own, rock star, simple answers, stories ruined, telling your story, thought experiment, thoughts, understanding life, what if scenarios, what you believe happened, your story

• Writer Dude Stories – Thoughts from July 24, 2022

  

  We have a new person who works in our department who I hardly ever see because she works mornings and I work at night. I told her, “I hardly ever see you. Tell me something interesting about yourself.” She told me about her past jobs and that one of her sons has autism. She talked…

  Brian Kirwan

  November 16, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, anxieties, athletes, autism, autistic, autistic child, autistic traits, backstories, boring jobs, boring story, care about people, cats, characters, competition, conflicts, cooperation, dull people, embarassment, feminine qualities, fictional stories, happily ever after, humor, judgements against strangers, judging, new person, perfect and boring, positive attitude, positivity, reality, ridged thinking, singular focus, something interesting about you, sports, stories, story with no conflict, thought elephant in the room, thoughts, Thoughts papers, time, underdeveloped, wasn’t diagnosed, we all have stories, work, write your own thoughts, Writer Dude, writing

• Sugar Makes Me Fat – Thoughts from July 23, 2022

  

  Today I feel fat. I’ve felt fat because my scale said I was fat. My stomach feels like someone attached a sandbag to the inside of my skin. All of this fat shaming is to say that I need to change my routine on my days off. I’ve said this before and here I am…

  Brian Kirwan

  November 14, 2023

  Uncategorized

  “fat”, 2022, cats, change of routine, comfort, compromised health, control myself, days off, eating, enabler, fat shaming, fatness, feeling judged, getting around, habit, happiness, happy, health, hearing, hearing about yourself from others, high sugar items, I feel fat, I’m a mess, ice cream, indecision, judging, new creations, old creations, over-weight, Patti, reading, sugar, talking to myself, thoughts, Thoughts papers, time at home, weight, words, writing