August 10, 2022
I’m almost glad that the nervousness of performing live was too much for me. If I could do it easily, I would not be as happy and healthy as I am. I don’t like watching live performances so I don’t know why I thought I would ever want to perform live. Whether it’s singing, acting, or telling jokes, it’s not for me. I could see myself reading my writings or being interviewed by someone, but keep your performing live away from me. I can perform with my voice, but I don’t like performing with my body. My voice is an instrument but my body is just a meat sack.
I was reading some of my old Thoughts papers. They were talking about going to work at Disneyland. In case you don’t spend your time keeping up on every aspect of my life like my favorite readers do, I will tell you I have been working there since 2004. There were many misconceptions I had about Disneyland and what it would be like to work there. I was sure I was going to work there; I just thought it would be much sooner than it was. Applying and being rejected many times didn’t dissuade me. Of course, now that I work there, I say even less about Disneyland than before I did. (Future note: I wrote about some daily workings of Disneyland, but I took most of those out of the Thoughts from Life blog. Those writings do still exist. I’ve saved them in a special place in my brain and files on the computer. Perhaps I will publish them far in the future when I can claim dementia.)
Many people in my life were gay even if they didn’t know or admit it themselves. Some of them may still not admit they are gay if they are religious. I often wonder why any person who is out as gay would be religious. Most religions have extremely anti-gay stances, so how could you believe in a religion that doesn’t believe in you? If you see the illogical way they treat you, how could you miss all the other illogical aspects of the religion? Knowing you can’t wish yourself not gay, why do you think you can wish a supernatural being to exist? That being is unwilling to protect you against the hate of others because the people who invented it did so to exclude you from their religion. If you want to believe in something, believe in yourself. I think the fear of your family reacting badly to your coming out keeps people from being honest with themselves. They would rather live a lie than live in fear of their family disowning them, or worse. This is understandable, but sad. Your parents value their religion more than you. Why would you stay with a religion that made your parents treat you like that?
August 14, 2022
Patti and I watched the 25th anniversary concert for South Park last night. I loved watching it on TV, but know I wouldn’t have enjoyed it in person. Watching concerts on TV is something I’ve done. I enjoy being in control of the volume, being able to fast forward when nothing is going on, and not having to put up with drunk A-holes. There’s an entire list of other things I don’t enjoy about live events. I feel like there is so much you have to ignore. There is very little for me to enjoy. It is not a pleasurable experience. Look for me to talk more about my thoughts on this in my live blog tour of nowhere.
Today is just one short thought.
Thoughts from Life 
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