Tag: fear

• Never Seeing Quest Again – Thoughts from July 18, 2023

  

  I just got a call at work from Patti about Quest. Quest was in our bedroom on the floor, and she couldn’t lift her head. Patti’s sister came over and they are going to take Quest to the vet. Patti and I dealt with this situation before. Sister (the cat) had the same thing happen…

  Brian Kirwan

  July 9, 2024

  Uncategorized

  2023, acting differently because of loss, bedroom, Blaze, blind cat, cat, cat dealing with loss, cats, couldn’t lift her head, death, end to suffering, fear, feeling her absence, four furry faces, getting used to the loss, growling cat, hostility, kittens, last time I saw her, losing a family member, meeting as kittens, missing Quest, mix of happiness and saddness, obsessive, one cat less, Patti, putting cat to sleep, Quest, reminders of her, Scout, Sister, Slash, slideshow, tearing up, teary-eyed, thoughts, tolerating her, too aggressive, typing, vet, Willow, work, writing

• Out on a Live Stage – Thoughts from August 10 and 14, 2022

  

  August 10, 2022 I’m almost glad that the nervousness of performing live was too much for me. If I could do it easily, I would not be as happy and healthy as I am. I don’t like watching live performances so I don’t know why I thought I would ever want to perform live. Whether…

  Brian Kirwan

  December 7, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2004, 2022, accepting you are gay, acting, admitting you are gay, anti-gay stance, applying, being honest with yourself, believe in yourself, believing in religion, concert, daily workings, dementia, Disneyland, drunk A-holes, exclusion, family reaction, fast forward, fear, gay, happy, healthy, illogical, ingoring your surroundings, live events, live performances, live shows, living a lie, misconceptions, my body is just a meat sack, nervousness, not pleasurable, performing live, rejected, religion, short thought, singing, South Park, supernatural being, telling jokes, thoughts, Thoughts from Life blog, Thoughts papers, tour of nowhere, understandable but sad, valuing religion over people, voice performance, volume, work, writing

• Stressed Smile – Thoughts from March 28 and April 1, 2022

  

  March 28, 2022 I’ve been working on adding exercises and examples to my book. It has added about ten thousand words to it. I look forward to the day when I will have to explain what book I’m working on, but I only have the one right now. I would love to have time to…

  Brian Kirwan

  September 19, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, accepting reality, angry, April Fool’s Day, bad behavior, beliefs, confrontation, coworker, creative thoughts, defensive, disagreement, evidence, fake story, fear, fighting realities, fooling people, future note, general subjects, happier life, health, health problems, identities, ignorance, lack of enthusiasm, lying to others, male, my book, Nerd Mouse, not a programmer, other people, plugins, Reality Acceptance, reality denial statements, religious, rich, running from realities, specific knowledge, staff of people, stressed, thoughts, Thoughts papers, unhappy, website, white, words, writing

• Thoughts from December 4, 1994

  

  The Diary of Wienie Frank How the funky chicken are ya? One of these days, I’m going to wake up and smell the coffee bean hair balls. Today, I’m looking at my life with a newfound fear. I’m afraid I may be in that well known psychological state known as Laziana (for people from Nebraska,…

  Brian Kirwan

  December 29, 2022

  Uncategorized

  1994, Backstage West, been down, beginner, being ready, career, computer, computer geek, dance song, Disney, fashion song, fear, Imagineers, lazy, music nerd, my music, my songs, Nebraska, nerd, SCB-55, sexiness, songs, Sound Canvas, studio, tape, thoughts