Tag: anxiety

• Memories of Route 66, Anxieties, and Word Choices – Thoughts from October 12 and 20, 2024

  

  October 12, 2024 I haven’t written a Thoughts paper in a while. Actually, that’s not true. Why am I lying to you? Because I can. I should say I haven’t written anything unplanned. Patti and I took a Route 66 trip that I wrote about, but I didn’t write the entries on the date I…

  Brian Kirwan

  October 14, 2025

  Uncategorized

  2024, a picture is worth a thousand words, airports, anxiety, anxious thoughts, arbitrary word choices, awkward, Couples Sans Souci, damaged emotions, dash cam, dash cam footage, easily triggered anxiety, electric bill, emotions, financial crisis, flying in a plane, heat of summer, images lead to memories, Jamaica, knowledge always wins over belief, only flying first class, Patti, Petrified Forest, realizing my error, Route 66 trip, snobbish rule, taking pictures, taking pictures throughout the day, thoughts, Thoughts paper, visual thinking, Wordscapes, wounded emotions, writing

• Project Families, Automatic Urinals, and Self-Diagnosed Autism – Thoughts from September 1, 2024

  

  Here we are at the beginning of Patti’s birthday month. I’m still waiting on an itinerary of our Route 66 trip. Does this make me nervous? Of course it does. Patti is very good at keeping me in the dark about specifics. Projects we do together always winds up with me trying to find out…

  Brian Kirwan

  August 5, 2025

  Uncategorized

  2024, anxiety, authentic form of communication, autism, autism spectrum, autistic traits, automatic toilets, automatic urinal, behaviors of autism, birthday month, covering the sensor, depression, doing projects, easily distracted, exact sequence, going to concerts, happier being myself, hiding who I am, lack of control in life, learning to sew, looking people in the eye, loud noises, manual button, masking, mental health, official diagnosis, Patti, problems with crowds, removing myself, Route 66 trip, self-diagnosed autism, sensory issues, sensory overload, special allowances, thoughts, water keeps running, working with wood

• Politics and Route 66 Trips – Thoughts from August 4, 2024

  

  August 4, 2024 This is going to be a different kind of Thoughts paper. These might look like the regular words I use, but don’t be fooled. I’m writing them under a change tree. What’s a change tree? It’s the tree of change, of course. I’ve never been a fan of change. It always comes…

  Brian Kirwan

  July 8, 2025

  Uncategorized

  2020 election, 2024, anxiety, being liberal, birthday, caring about others, change, complaining, conservative, conversation, enough old white men in politics, interrupted routines, it is not perfect but nothing is, itinerary of the trip, Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, liberal, looking conservative, non-religious, Patti, prepared for change, Reality Acceptance party, religious beliefs, respresent all Americans, Route 66, routines, running for President, sad and miserable people, scientific facts, talking points, thoughts, Thoughts paper, under a change tree, vacation, vice president, winging things

• Mono Hearing – Thoughts from June 2, 2024

  

  I’m going to start today’s Thoughts paper with a thought about what it’s like to only hear in one ear. I noted about twenty years ago in a Thoughts paper how my hearing was declining in one ear. Over the years, I have gone from only hearing certain tones to hearing almost nothing. I was…

  Brian Kirwan

  April 8, 2025

  Uncategorized

  2024, anxiety, attractive people, autobiography, bad ear, Beatles songs, Brian, creating music, deaf in one ear, declining hearing, Halle Berry, headphones, hearing loss, hearing only in one ear, humor, ignoring my name, Is this the correct side?, knowing left from right, knowing where sounds are coming from, live events, live events are a nightmare, loud noises, mono hearing, mono hearing sucks crap through a straw, overloaded ear and brain, Patti, Paul Stanley, physically hurts me, pity attractive people, Rob Lowe, speaking quietly, Stephen Colbert, stereo music, stereo was my jam, the name Brian, the price of beauty, thoughts, Thoughts paper, walking on the left of people, you’re on my bad side

• Anxious Nerd – Thoughts from August 28 to September 8, 2022

  

  August 28, 2022 I think I used to be more of a nerd, but now I’m just a recovering nerd. Reading back on my Thoughts papers tells me how much of a nerd I was. I talked about working on computers and other nerdy technical issues I was dealing with. Today, my nerdiest issues are…

  Brian Kirwan

  December 26, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, A-hole behavior, A-holes, adult children, anxiety, anxiety medication, anxious adult, anxious child, autism, cartoons, childhood, computers, earliest memory, fantasy, few friends, first grade, grade school, hobby nerd, humorous, I care about other people, I thought I failed kindergarten, internet, issues, junior first, making friends, mortgage and taxes, nerd, nerdy career, nerdy skills, Other People Exist, Patti, reality police, recovering nerd, regular bills, science fiction, stories, stuffed animals, thoughts, Thoughts papers, tickets, toys, traumas

• Celebrities – Thoughts from August 21, 2022

  

  I was reading some of my old Thoughts papers in which I referred to people asking for money as “bums” and asserted that most of them were alcoholics and drug addicts. In the same sentences, I would say I’m a Liberal about most things. I now know that people don’t choose to be without a…

  Brian Kirwan

  December 19, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, 5000 friend limit, accepting all friend requests, alcoholics, animation, anxiety, appreciative, art, bums, cats, celebrities, context, data, develop the thought, drug addicts, entertainment, Facebook, famous people, horrible behavior, immediate, internet, liberal, living on the street, mental illness, monitoring information, my feed, negative pages, negative people, negativity, no news, non-programmers, off Facebook, out of touch with reality, Penn Jillette, people you actually know, personal page, pissing off customers, please your customers, podcast, positive friends, public page, regular people, scientist, simple thoughts, support, technologists, technology, thoughts, Thoughts papers, tigers, Twitter, writing

• Toys and Charlie Manson – Thoughts from August 7 to 9, 2022

  

  August 7, 2022 Today’s Thoughts paper is brought to you by sleep. I’m looking forward to getting some tonight. I’ve dropped a lot of things today. Being tired will do that to you. I’m too tired to have many thoughts. I promise to have more tomorrow. August 8, 2022 I was going to work today…

  Brian Kirwan

  December 5, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, action figures, anxiety, anxiety provoking, as a kid, Charles Manson, Charlie, Charlie Manson, daughter, driving down the street and back, dropping things, faded words, freeway, granddaughter, Harley Davison motorcycle, hateful words, living with mom, local Charlie, Manson died, middle-aged man, mobile home, multiple toys, no job, no one would employ him, one toy, open the box, out-of-control hair, parents took me to Toys R Us, regret, research, riding a bike, sad future, screaming obscenities, selling drugs, short motorcycle rides, sleep, stuffed animals, thoughts, Thoughts paper, tired, too tired, tough decisions, toys, Toys R Us, Toys R Us truck, urging his suicide, video games, wrong decision

• Breaking Plastic Mirrors – Thoughts from May 22 and 25, 2022

  

  May 22, 2022 Someone asked about the term “reality denier” that I use for people who deny basic realities and behave badly because of it. I use it mainly to call out people’s behavior instead of swearing at them and getting angry. It’s not a perfect term so I usually only use it when I’m…

  Brian Kirwan

  October 19, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, accepting reality, anger, angry, angry decisions, anxiety, bad decisions, basic realities, behaving badly, blind to realities, broken mirror, caring about others, conscious decisions, denying realities, depression, embarrassment, emotional, emotions, empathy, funny story, hate, hatred, humor, humorous, ignoring realities, improve other people’s day, jealousy, kindness, logic, loneliness, negative emotion, negative humor, no opposite of hate, non-reality accepter, not dealing with emotions, Other People Exist, people’s behavior, plastic mirror, Reality Acceptance, reality denial, reality denier, recognition, sadness, safety, seven years bad luck, thoughts, tight spot, Truck

• Anxious Cat and Cat Dad – Thoughts from February 15 and 16, 2022

  

  February 15, 2022 I didn’t write yesterday because I was spending time with Patti on Valentine’s Day. We went out to breakfast even though it was after 2:00 in the afternoon. Patti and I are not early risers unless we have to be. I cheated on the vegan thing with butter and eggs, but not…

  Brian Kirwan

  August 24, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2022, accident, Affordable Healthcare Act, anxiety, apologized, apology, arguing, autobiography, back tightens, bare feet, blood on face, book, book sales, breakdown, breakfast, Canadian, cat, cat tree, Catholic household, coworker, cracker smashing, expensive ads, health care act, hugs, I am happy, illogical behavior, incident, invaders to her house, litter box, Martin Short, medications, miserable people, Obamacare, Patti, pooping, Quest, Reality Acceptance, stress, The Happy Atheist, thinking machine, thoughts, troubled, up 4 pounds in one day, urinating, Valentine’s Day, vegan

• Dream Rules – Thoughts from August 24, 2018

  

  Future note: I listed the rules of my dreams in this Thoughts paper. Enjoy. Okay, maybe I should supply a little bit more of an explanation. These rules represent the things I know are possible while I’m dreaming. They are things I know I can do and things I know I can’t do. I have…

  Brian Kirwan

  August 15, 2023

  Uncategorized

  2018, actor, anxieties, anxiety, being chased, can’t do it, can’t yell, catching me, character, colors, directing my dreams, director, don’t see my real self, dream, dream colors, dream people, dream rules, dreaming, dreams, float up slowly, floating, flying, future note, help-asking machine, no running, people represent other people, playing a character, red is bad, seeing myself, story, strangers, thoughts, Thoughts paper, voice restricted, wake up yelling, wetting the bed, writing my dreams