Tag: 2023

• Easter and My Weird Resting Face – Thoughts from April 9, 2023

  

  Easter is rearing its ugly head today. I keep meaning to look up what it means to Christians so I can make fun of it. Right now is as good a time as any, so I’ll do that right now and get back to you. I’m back. Did you miss me? It is when they…

  Brian Kirwan

  May 2, 2024

  Uncategorized

  2023, aging, audio recordings, baby and zombie Jesus, candy, candy and gifts, catering to the live audience, concerts, conversational pauses, dash-cam, distractions, Easter, Easter meaning, electronic music, fictional characters, Germany, getting older, grocery shopping, horrible stories, I don’t like live recordings, I’m a work in progress, ignorance, Jesus story is not kid friendly, kids, kids are pretty stupid, live recordings, lying to kids, my weird resting face, origins of the Easter Bunny, Patti, positive side of a deteriorating body, rabbits delivering eggs, ranting, reality, resurrection version of Easter, Santa Claus, slow song introduction, thoughts, thoughts are inaudible, worse eyesight, YouTube Music

• Falling for April Fools and Multitasking – Thoughts from April 1 and 3, 2023

  

  April 1, 2023 It’s April Fools’ Day! Believe nothing I say today unless it sounds too boring to be a joke. I hooked up my dash-cam to look out at the traffic and inside my car. I like everything about it except how fat it makes me look. It’s capturing the video of me accurately…

  Brian Kirwan

  April 30, 2024

  Uncategorized

  2021, 2023, accurate video is a problem, April Fool’s Day, April Fools!, audio book, autobiagraphy, bad fall, bad pasture, based on a true story biography, being clumsy, being in a hurry, believe nothing, birthday, book, dash-cam, distractions, dying, eating lunch, extended stays in the hospital, falling, fatness, fool you later, inside my car, lack of a chin, multitasking, Norm Macdonald, Patti, phone call, quick thoughts, real lives need exaggeration, receding hairline, repeating words, small feet, texting, The Simpsons, thoughts, Thoughts paper, traffic, transitions, visual jokes, watching TV

• Metaphors, Movies, and Dash-Cams – Thoughts from March 27 and 29, 2023

  

  March 27, 2023 What can I say? My life is going swimmingly as long as that phrase means you are swimming in a giant ocean without land in sight. I’m not exactly drowning yet, but I would like to find a land I can call home someday. Treading water is good for your core, though.…

  Brian Kirwan

  April 25, 2024

  Uncategorized

  2023, authors, bad behavior on the freeway, blockbuster movies, capture the madness on the freeway, car chases, compiling video on my computer, cords, dash-cam, dashboard, David Sedaris, editing video, explosions, GoPro, illogical and wrong, illogical plot points, installing issues, J. K. Rowling, land I can call my own, Linda West, memoirs, metaphors, movies, my reality accepting take, online, ordered a dash-cam, real speak, reality denial, Samantha Irby, sexist and homophobic behavior, thoughts, time to edit video, transfering video, tropes in movies, violence

• Zipper Malfunction – Thoughts from March 25, 2023

  

  Something happened today that will only be entertaining with time. I was in the restroom at work and I zipped up my pants to find that only one side of the teeth was still connected to the zipper. Trying to connect the zipper back to the other teeth while I was standing at the urinal…

  Brian Kirwan

  April 23, 2024

  Uncategorized

  2023, changing room, costuming, covered the hole, embarrassed, entertaining with time, humor, laughing, loaner clothes, loaner pair of pants, open fly, picking up people, restroom, restroom stall, safety pin, sweating, thoughts, toilet, urinal, walking stiffly, wardrobe malfunction, work, zip up my pants, zipper malfunction, zipper teeth

• Sitcom Decisions and Nostalgic Nerds – Thoughts from March 18 and 22, 2023

  

  March 18, 2023 I was thinking today about making sitcom decisions. Sitcom decisions mainly use lies to avoid making actual decisions. Lying to your spouse about doing something you forgot to do is a sitcom decision. Characters make decisions in sitcoms purely for comedic purposes. Sitcoms have taught us dangerous and absurd life lessons that…

  Brian Kirwan

  April 18, 2024

  Uncategorized

  2023, accepting realities, adding tags to articles, anti-religious, avoid making decisions, behavior, books, calling out, characters, comedic purposes, comedy, Comp USA, covering something up, David Sedaris books, entertaining nerds, fellow nerds, funny, hilarious, humor, learning from failures, lies, life lessons, literary agents, lying to your spouse, making the same mistakes, nostalgia, nostalgic nerds, Patti, query letter, quirky personality, rain, raining heavily, Reality Acceptance, selling books, sitcom decisions, sitcoms, stupid decisions, thoughts, Thoughts from Life, unhappy marriage, weird observations, wet freeways, work, writing

• Automatic Paper Towel Dispensers and Speaking Cat – Thoughts from March 5 and 8, 2023

  

  March 5, 2023 I’ve been listening to a book called Animals in Translation by Temple Grandin. She is autistic and has a similar connection to animals that I have. I speak fluent cat and could learn to speak other animal languages. The languages of other animals are mostly non-verbal. Many people have a problem with…

  Brian Kirwan

  April 16, 2024

  Uncategorized

  2023, abnormal behavior, animal languages, animal senses, animals, Animals in Translation, autism, automatic paper towel dispenser, communicating, connection to animals, fast medium and slow, human behavior, I speak cat, interests, jobs, judge a restroom, looking to money to make us happy, money, money can’t buy love or happiness, nicer restrooms, non-verbal languages, obsessing over money, Patti, physical language, restroom, sights sounds or smells, slow dispensers, speaking cat, speaking English to cats, super poor, super rich, Temple Grandin, thoughts, tiny switches, tone, unnatural lives, written language

• Marching Forth with Thoughts – Thoughts from March 4, 2023

  

  As I’m reminded every year on this day, march forth is the only day that is a phrase. Beyond that, it’s just another day that will live in obscurity. I’m going to treat this day like I treat every day – like the first day of the rest of my life. Speaking of days (they…

  Brian Kirwan

  April 11, 2024

  Uncategorized

  2023, 52-year-old, a thoughtful life, acting happy, anti-religious, brain is a powerful tool, divine gold, Facebook, gobs of money, gold car, gold crayon, gold-colored car, grandma’s car, interesting people, jealous of the wrong things, jealousy, jealousy is stupid, living someone else’s life, march forth, money is not happiness, Patti, people just walking alone, poem, pure gold, staring at our phones, stuffed animals and toys, thoughts, Thoughts papers, Trump ruins gold, Valentine's Day, VHS tape, walking with distractions, weird things about me, what it takes to be happy

• Waiting at the Airport – Thoughts from February 16 to 25, 2023

  

  February 16, 2023 Well, here we are at the airport. I intended to write during our vacation, but didn’t. We are currently waiting for a flight that got delayed twice and is still four and a half hours from now. At least this flight didn’t get degraded like our flight coming to Florida. The worse…

  Brian Kirwan

  April 4, 2024

  Uncategorized

  2023, airport, almost naked, behaving badly, Californians in the rain, digital video files, first-class, flight delayed, Florida, flying, home in our bed, home with the cats, how you treat strangers, I’m a good person, insane in the rain, knowing I’m a good person, lack of sleep, logic, low quality, LP (long play), Patti, rain all night, raining, sleeping on the plane, SLP (super long play), snow, snow in the desert, snowing, SP (standard play), stuck in the airport, thoughts, treating other people well, vacation, VCR recordings, writing

• Dad’s Backyard Used Car Lot – Thoughts from February 1 and 3, 2023

  

  February 1, 2023 We’re already one month into 2023 and I haven’t mistakenly written 2022 once. I don’t know if that’s even a thing anymore. People used to write checks and other things that required writing out the date, but we hardly have to write anything down these days, let alone the date. I would…

  Brian Kirwan

  April 2, 2024

  Uncategorized

  2022, 2023, action films, action films bore me, action movie actors, backyard car lot, car breaking down, car’s dealer, character interactions, chase scenes, cliche dialog, dad, drinking, lost art, multiple schedules, my dad’s used car lot, new cars, non-action films, Patti, people’s handwriting, problem drinking, thoughts, Thoughts papers, trapped by a vacation, violence, writing checks, writing out the date, writing wrong year

• Money-Making Schemes and Metaphors – Thoughts from January 29 and 31, 2023

  

  January 29, 2023 I just want to start this Thoughts paper by telling you, the reader, how much I appreciate what you do. I don’t know what you do beyond reading these words, but I appreciate what you’re doing right now. There are many words you could be looking at and you chose mine. It…

  Brian Kirwan

  March 28, 2024

  Uncategorized

  2023, 8 millimeter films, a quarter for grocery cart, Aldi, Animal Kingdom Lodge, Brian, Brian’s space movies, digitizing VHS home videos, Disney World, donuts, drinking in Vegas, exaggerating for comic effect, gas station, getting along with my sister, grocery shopping, I don’t lie, I don’t like poetry, I look like a Brian, metaphors, money-making scheme, my sister, my weirdness, news is useless, news on the screen at the pump, not a unique name, nothing is exactly like something else, one version of my name, parking lot, Patti, perfection doesn’t exist, reading, recent death on the news, Star Wars figures, stop motion films, the reader, thoughts, Thoughts paper, vacations, vacations are not good for my health, Vegas, video commentary, words, writing