Mono Hearing – Thoughts from June 2, 2024

I’m going to start today’s Thoughts paper with a thought about what it’s like to only hear in one ear. I noted about twenty years ago in a Thoughts paper how my hearing was declining in one ear. Over the years, I have gone from only hearing certain tones to hearing almost nothing. I was listening to an introduction to Paul Stanley’s autobiography, and he mentioned only being able to hear out of one ear. Halle Berry, Rob Lowe, and Stephen Colbert are three celebrities who are also deaf in one ear. Apparently, it only strikes attractive people. You thought there was no reason to pity attractive people, but now you know the price we pay for our beauty.

To let you know what mono hearing is like, I’ll tell you the worst parts about it. For me, one thing I miss the most is listening to stereo music. In listening to and creating music, stereo was a huge element for me. I loved it when sounds went from one ear to the other or when instruments would only come from one side. Stereo was my jam! There are certain Beatles songs that I can’t listen to in headphones because I’m missing half the instruments or voices.

Another annoyance of mono hearing is not knowing where sounds are coming from. Patti has called me in a store, and I couldn’t tell where she was. If she just kept calling my name and stayed in the same spot, I could turn my head and find her like radar. It’s not a bad thing that she doesn’t do this. She would be like an annoying child that keeps calling for her mom. A key part of this is having the name Brian. There are many Brians in the world. I have trained myself to ignore when my name is called because it’s usually not for me.

One aspect of mono hearing that I use for humorous purposes is telling people they’re on my bad side. It sounds like I’m telling them they have disturbed me, but I just mean they are on my bad ear side. Walking on the left side of people has become a habit for me. When I sit next to Patti, I put her on my right side. She usually sits down and says, “Is this the correct side?” This is often an issue because she can’t tell her left from her right much of the time. If someone is standing right in front of me speaking quietly, I must turn my head to hear them.

The number one problem with mono hearing I saved for the end. It’s the aspect of my hearing problems that can physically hurt me and send my anxiety through the roof. When I’m in a crowd of people or several noises are happening around me, it overloads my ears and brain. I hear all the sounds at equal volume. It may as well be loud static playing from several speakers. This has made going to live events a living nightmare. I never liked live events before I lost my hearing, but now they physically hurt me. Bottom line, mono hearing sucks crap through a straw.