May 5, 2024
As I mentioned yesterday, today is Cinco de Mayo. Someone joked that no one knows what it’s about. I could use my research I did yesterday to inform him that everyone knows it’s about the victory of Mexico over France in 1862. My heart would grow three times larger if he thought I just knew that off the top of my head. If you thought I just knew that in yesterday’s Thoughts paper, never tell me because my heart will probably explode out of my chest. We had call outs, but it was a fairly light Sunday, so we survived the day. I didn’t have to be rushed to the hospital from an enlarged heart because no one ever acted surprised at me knowing stuff.
As far as I know, Patti hasn’t fallen since the last time she fell. She’s been cleaning different areas around the house. This is good if she doesn’t push it, but she always pushes it. She doesn’t do things halfway. Her head works much faster than her body. When she falls, she doesn’t take a minor spill. She falls as if she’s in a stunt show, but without stunt training. It would be impressive if it weren’t so scary.
Someone is retiring at my work. Besides being jealous of all the people retiring around me, I’m worried about what I’m going to write in his card. Most people at my work know that I write so I want to write something clever. Even if they don’t know I write, I always see writing in someone’s card as an opportunity to show off how hilarious (and humble) I can be. I want to say something that’s personal, but not too personal. Someone crying for the wrong reason would not be clever or nice. I don’t roast people in their cards. They should feel good about what I said and laugh. I haven’t written in the card because I’m workshopping ideas still. He knows about Patti’s retirement, so I’ll try to work that into what I say.
May 11, 2024
On my first day off on Thursday, I could finally trim the bush in our backyard and vacuum the house. I have been wanting to vacuum for some time. When I think about how long it was, I must admit it was an embarrassingly long time. I would vacuum once a week if I could, but time doesn’t permit it most weeks. To be honest, I was looking forward to it. When Patti went to work, I would usually vacuum then. Now she’s retired and home every day. It felt strange to vacuum with her present. I’m used to freaking out the cats while I vacuum, but I’m not used to another human watching me. Sometimes she wanted my attention so she could tell me about something. Other times, she was just watching me. It would be creepy if it were anyone but Patti.
Patti and I went to see our nephew’s new baby boy. I can now confirm that the mark around his eye after he was born was not permanent. When we first saw him, he was sleeping on his back with his hands open but not moving them. He was out and silent. Patti, mom, and dad sat at a table near him and ate the pizza Patti brought them. The baby was silent the whole time. I didn’t mention myself in the pizza eating because I didn’t have any. Dad gave me water from their fridge. I asked if they had non-refrigerated water, but they didn’t. When we were leaving, the baby let out a cry. That was the only sign that he was a real baby and not a lifelike doll.
On our way home, Patti and I talked about the baby, but quickly transitioned into all the things I didn’t know about during the trip to their house. I knew about the pizza because she ordered it before we left the house, but didn’t know Patti was going to eat with them. I had eaten breakfast recently, so I decided not to eat. Before we went for the pizza, I was told that we needed to stop by Walmart. We needed to pick up a present and a card for the baby. Actually, both were more for the parents. Patti regularly says we’re going to one place, but she comes up with other destinations along the way or after we get to the mentioned location.
I have tried to explain to Patti that I would rather know where we’re going ahead of time so I can plan accordingly. She does this often enough that I always know there will be extra stops on any trip. This would be fine if I had a normal job where I had time to do things on my workdays. When I get home from work, I replenish my supplies for the next day, take off my outfit accompanied by four fuzzy felines in my office, get ready for bed, and go to bed. I spend my two days off preparing for my next five workdays. After we went to see the baby, we had to go grocery shopping. When we got home and I put away all the groceries, I made a meal to eat for dinner or lunch, as I call it, because it was my second meal of the day. Later, I made my five meals for the week ahead. Patti is usually asleep while I’m making my meals.
I usually have some time before bed to relax and watch some TV on my days off. This time is much shorter since Patti retired. I have gone to bed at the same time as her several times. I’m getting behind on the shows I watch without her because she doesn’t want to see them. It took me a week to finish a tiger documentary. Luckily, I don’t mind watching things in pieces. The major objection by Patti to the documentary was watching tigers hunt, kill, and eat. Showing actual tigers being tigers is not like watching The Lion King. The tiger cubs are super adorable, but they eventually grow up to be killing machines like their parents. It may seem weird for a mostly vegan like me to like tigers, but at least what tigers eat is a natural part of their diet. I’m much more disgusted by what people eat in fast food restaurants.
Thoughts from Life 
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