Anger at Idiots and Fix-it Jobs – Thoughts from February 27, 2024

I need cheering up. The past few days have been a series of events that have pushed me into angry guy territory. I have either yelled at people directly or secretly to myself. The world is pissing me off more than it has in years. It’s nothing new that’s getting me angry. The things that have always disturbed me all seem to anger me still. This is on top of the usual angst I feel because of not being able to do what I want to do with my life. All the different mutations my life has taken have left me wanting more. Creating things used to be a huge part of my life. Now it’s just a part-time occupation for me. The years of not creating things while I’m at home has caught up with me.

The fundamental aspect of my life that is becoming annoying is watching most people in the world live their lives without thinking about the lives they are living. When people waste their limited time doing illogical and unethical things, I want to shake them and tell them to quit wasting their time being idiots and A-holes. Quit acting like other people don’t exist! My biggest anger comes from people ignoring other people. It angers me because I can’t ignore other people. I feel like a freak because I care about these people even though they annoy me and don’t care about me. I wish I could convince them they are not good people so I could tell them how to be good people. They wouldn’t listen to me because I will not claim a higher power told me how to be a good person.

Patti has a sore throat now. That’s completely my fault. I’m getting over my illness and only dealing with the lingering snot and sore throat. That will teach her to not lock me in my office when she’s home. My cough is still disturbing. I sit next to people and feel the urge to cough. When I do, I expect them to say, “Can you go be disgusting somewhere else.” Sometimes I’m in a vehicle with other people and everyone gets quiet when I cough. I know what they’re thinking, and I agree with them. I don’t want to be around me, but I can’t help it.

We had the first test of my new siding around the window in our bathroom and … it didn’t leak at all. Doing more than I think I need to do is paying off. Thank you, dad. The damage on the inside will have to be fixed eventually, but no additional damage is being done. Just like my dad’s fix-it jobs, it’s not pretty on the outside, but it’s sealed. When I ever get more time to do things like that in my life, I will make it look more pleasant. As it is, my fix-it jobs are much more aesthetically pleasant than my dad’s.

When I was younger, I thought I was wasting my time if I wasn’t creating something. As I get older, I’m finding pleasure in mowing the lawn, vacuuming, and working around the house. I’m still creating. I’m creating a trimmed yard, a clean floor, and solving problems around the house. It helps that I have wireless earphones so I can listen to audiobooks while I work. Patti doesn’t like things in her ears. My way of working doesn’t work for her. I always have earphones or speakers playing, so I’m never in silence. Silence is my enemy. I’d rather be creating something artistic, but having a clean house is also nice.