Experiencing Things not Made for Me, Including Silence – Thoughts from December 3 and 6, 2023

December 3, 2023

English is my first language. I don’t really have a second language, unless you count Nerd as a language. Sometimes, I wish I spoke another language well enough to have conversations, but not enough to put in the time to actually do it. I have delved deeply into English enough to keep my interest. Learning a new language would mean learning all the boring stuff before I can have interesting conversations. I think the interesting conversations in English will last me until I die. I have little in common with most English speakers. There would be even less common ground with people speaking other languages.

I’m listening to an autobiography of Barbra Streisand. It’s 48 hours long, so it’s taking even me a while to get through it. There were other books over 48 hours that I started, but they were usually collections of books, or I just didn’t finish them. This one I will finish. She goes over her career from the very beginning and there are many audio examples of her songs. I’ve never been a huge fan of her music or her movies, but I’m a fan of hearing people’s stories. She’s talking about songs I’ve never heard and movies I’ve never seen. Some of them I want to hear or see now that I know the story behind them. As I always say, I like to experience things that weren’t made for me.

When I say I like to experience things that weren’t made for me, I mean things that weren’t made for a straight white man. Being a straight white man has nothing to do with what I’m interested in. If there was a book aimed at straight white men, I would have little to no interest in it. We are a boring group, mostly. We are the stuff of history books, and most history books are boring. Hopefully, future history books will have many more interesting and diverse people in them. How interesting a person is has more to do with their thoughts and experiences than their mark on history.

December 6, 2023

Christmas brings out the best and worst in people. We treat our family and friends well, but treat strangers much worse. If your happiness is at the expense of someone else, whether or not you know them, you are not a good person. We tell kids Santa will only bring them toys if they are good, knowing we are hypocrites who are just bribing our kids to be good for goodness sake. Lying to our kids is not really the best way to teach them to be good. Being good yourself is the best way to teach them. Kids ignore what you say, but pay attention to what you do.

When I was a kid, I remember older kids delighting in telling their younger siblings the truth about Santa Claus. I’m glad I never had to deal with the conflict of telling my kids about Santa or not. I would have had a very hard time lying to my kids. Parents justify it in many different ways, but it is lying to your kids. Belief is a big part of the Christmas myths. I didn’t have to believe the myths to enjoy the fantasies around Christmas. The Nightmare Before Christmas is one of my favorite movies to this day. My office is a shrine to the movie, but I know it’s a movie. Kids can handle much more than we give them credit for.

I am not a fan of silence. When I get into someone’s vehicle and it is silent, my anxiety level goes up. I can talk to people and fill the silence but it’s usually the people that don’t talk that have silent vehicles. When I’m in a silent room with other people, it’s even worse. Libraries are not fun places for me. They expect you to be quiet to avoid disturbing people who are reading, but they disregard the discomfort of people disturbed by silence. Silence is unnatural. Where in nature is it completely silent? Space is silent, but we can’t survive in space. People who like silence are weird and unnatural.

I was just in the restroom and was reminded of the worst form of silence. Someone was sitting on a toilet in a stall in complete silence. I had to use the urinal, which was right next to the stall. As I was doing my thing, a fart came out of me. The sitting person took more toilet paper after I did it. At least they were making some noise. I urinated and was silent because I’m good at urination. No splashing from this guy. My biggest problem is someone being silent when I can’t see them. My mind becomes super aware of every sound I make and every sound others are not making. Silence is not my friend.