Halloween as a Kid and Changing Oil as a Fancy Adult – Thoughts from October 31 and November 3, 2023

October 31, 2023

In honor of Halloween, I’m going to talk non-stop about pickles. It’s the perfect scary snack. They’re green and look like fingers when they’re in a jar. It’s a jar of fingers. People used to make Frankenstein hands out of various sizes of pickles. I’m sure the pickles went to waste. Who wants to eat pickles when there’s all this candy to consume. I used to force myself to eat too much my switching between chocolate and hard candy. I never ate one type of candy for long. My plan was to always mix it up. At some point, I couldn’t eat any more. I would eat the rest of my candy over the next week.

Halloween as a kid was exciting. Actually, the candy was exciting, but going to people’s houses and asking for it wasn’t. I also remember several costumes that fell apart halfway through the night. One was a clown costume. My sister and I were both clowns. I remember having to hold the front of the costume closed after it ripped. I think another kid accidentally ripped it. The reason I had to hold it closed was because I just had my underwear on under the costume. I was one sad clown that year. I know I was eight years old because KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park was playing on the TV. This began my obsession with KISS and spitting up blood.

I went out one night with a a group of boys I didn’t know that well. We all rode bikes around Redlands trying to find the houses with the most candy. My bike was small, but I wasn’t. I really wasn’t having any fun, so I left them to head back to my house. I knew approximately how to get home, but was on unfamiliar streets. When I looked up and saw I was on Elm Street, I freaked out. This was the street where nightmares came to life. I pictured someone waiting in a Freddie Krueger costume for a punk like me to scare. The whole scenario played in my head as I rode through the area. Peddling as fast as I could, I got off that street the quickest I could in my crappy, too small bike. That was my last night going trick-or-treating. I, like my bike, was too big for this.

November 3, 2023

Here I sit at my Honda dealer waiting to get my oil changed. I’ve changed my oil on past cars, but this is my first luxury car. A Honda Civic is not actually a luxury car, but it’s the most luxurious car I’ve ever had. Past cars were compromises whereas this car was enjoying new perks I hadn’t had before. There is a house buying show on the TV. I’m trying to ignore it because Patti and I can’t afford any of the houses they are showing eager home buyers. The book I’m listening to was talking about buying a house. All of it reminds me of my parents’ house that we used to own until the bank took it away from us. Looking for a house closer to my work reminds me more of what used to be.

There is a young man with a dog in the waiting area. He’s walking around with the dog. The dog is little, white, and on a leash. I always judge people that go into stores and other places with a dog. I judge them worse if they’re not on a leash. The dog walked by again, but it looked like a different person was walking him. I know it had to be the same person. The thing making me question the human was his shirt. I swore it was white, but this person had a purple shirt. He’s sitting with the dog and petting it. This is yet another reason eyewitness accounts should not carry any weight in trials. If that’s all you have, you don’t have a case.

A person showing the houses on TV has a tattoo on his neck. It’s a tiger. I like tigers. I don’t like tattoos. Tattoos represent self-centered people’s vow to never change. It says, “This is the way I’m going to be the rest of my life.” That’s not exactly inviting to new thoughts. If I got a tattoo in my 20s, it would not represent who I am in my 50s. Most people don’t admit regretting their tattoos, but those who do point out that labeling yourself is not a good idea. People label us all our lives. Why would we let a younger version of ourselves label us as one thing. Even if you get multiple tattoos, you don’t know what labels you’re going to take on in the future. By the way, the host on the show actually has tigers on both sides of his neck.