Not Our Bunny or Our Holidays – Thoughts from October 21 and 22, 2023

October 21, 2023

It’s time to talk about the bunny in our yard. I first saw him when I was mowing our lawn. I walked to our backyard, and I saw something hop away. Convinced that it was a hopping cat, I didn’t think too much of it. Patti asked me to look at something in the yard a day later and it was actually a rabbit. We’re convinced he is someone’s pet who likes to hang out in our yard and eat our grass. We’re also convinced he is a he because he is so big. He is brown with a white tail. The other day, I could pet him a little. I was cleaning out our shed, and he was hanging out near me. He walked close by me several times and stopped once to smell me. I bent down and rubbed him with my gloved hand. Patti tried to rub him, but he ran away from her. We vowed not to feed him or do anything with him but observe his cute nose bounce up and down. His hopping is also pretty adorable. I’ll keep you updated with any new bunny news.

The good news about my Thoughts papers is you never know what you’re going to get. Most of the time, I never know what I’m going to type. Along those lines, I’m going to talk about typing. I was telling some younger coworkers about taking typewriting lessons on actual typewriters. Nothing makes you feel older than talking about things people have only seen in historically based movies. My typing skills have carried me through the rest of my life. Essays were my favorite assignments in school because there was no problem typing them up the night before they were due. Typing has made me what I am today. What exactly I am is the real question.

October 22, 2023

The other day, I saw a plain white ugly old car that had an obviously souped-up engine. I knew someone souped it up because it was louder than a plain white ugly old car should be. It had the engine of a muscle car. Why would you soup-up the engine of a car like that? Were they mistaken about what they were driving? I don’t understand why people buy white cars, anyway. We have a bunch of white vehicles at my work. All white vehicles look like work vehicles. Making a vehicle louder than it would otherwise be is the meat of the stupid sandwich that is their life. Maybe it’s the soup that comes with the stupid sandwich. It’s illogical and rude. They are on the list of people I wish would die.

I hope that everyone who reads my Thoughts papers knows I’m completely serious in what I say. There is noooo sarcasm or exaggerated humor involved. If you find them humorous or exaggerated, you are reading them with your humorously exaggerated glasses on. The things I write and publish have made it past several levels of editing. I scrutinize every word and mean everything I say. I’m way too honest to throw around words I don’t mean. If you don’t believe me, just wait until the next paragraph. It’s honest as crap and I mean every word.

I was listening to the radio and an ad for psychics came on. I’ve heard it before, and I change the station as soon as they say “psychics.” As with all psychics, they trick you and wait to the end of the ad to mention California Psychics brought it to you. If you are reading this and you consider yourself a psychic, I forbid you from reading any more of my words. I predict you never would have made it this far in reading my words if you were one of those horrible people. By “those people”, I mean lying liars from Lie Town. If you actually had psychic powers and you used them to “help” people make decisions in their life by charging them per minute to talk to you, you’re still an A-hole. Perhaps you could help the world avoid disasters. You could do many things if you were actually psychic, but you don’t because you’re not actually psychic. Please predict your own death.

Time flies when you’re having fun. That phrase was never truer than when I traveled back in time to the 1800s. I rode in some kind of horse-drawn buggy. There were people just throwing their garbage in the streets and a doctor prescribing opium for my coughing diarrhea. The median age was less than twenty years. Time flew so fast that you lived your life in an accelerated whirlwind of good times. Of course, my trip had to be quick because I could only pretend that my fifty years were more like twenty-five years for so long. That they believed me at all made the trip even more enjoyable. Good times.

We’re coming up on Halloween, which means Christmas is already appearing in stores across the land. As far as the stores are concerned, the four seasons are Easter, Summer, Halloween, and Christmas. Holidays are no longer on certain days. They are months of time we can shop for whatever holiday season we are in. Buying holiday doodads is our new form of therapy. It shows how much we care about ourselves and others. Patti and I show how much we care about the holidays by doing barely anything. We enjoy the fantasy of what the holidays mean, but embarrass none of the real meanings behind any of the holidays. If we can ever get rid of our massive amounts of junk from past holidays, maybe we will gather new holiday junk. Wish us luck.