Failure is Always an Option – Thoughts from January 28, 2023

I’m starting this Thoughts paper to get it out of the way. I don’t really have anything to talk about yet, but starting is always the first step to any endeavor. Your journey begins with a single step. That’s what they used to say back in the ableist past. If you don’t have feet or feet that work, your journey ends before it begins. Ableism seems to be one of the last forms of discrimination finally getting recognized. Language gets so entrenched in society that it’s hard to change. We use words created by isolated communities not meant for a wider audience. We think they are acceptable to use the words because no one questions them in our local community. This is the problem with isolated communities in the modern world. You can no longer isolate yourself from other communities. If you don’t think about the words you use and update your vocabulary, you will continue the discriminatory language of your ancestors.

None of our ancestors were good people. They were better than their ancestors, but societies are still dealing with the discriminatory practices of the past. We still have to be forced to do the right thing. In case you think I’m talking about a religious version of doing the right thing (because this is the first Thoughts paper you’ve read from me), know that I’m talking about doing the most logical and ethical thing. One can trace racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, homophobia, and other forms of discrimination to various religions. If you must have rules to keep you from doing horrible things, you are a horrible person. Take comfort, though. Your ancestors were even worse than you.

I saw a large truck the other day that said, “Failure is not an option.” I avoided them because I didn’t want to see what they would do to avoid failure. Failure is how you learn. If you never fail, you will never grow as a person. You should avoid anyone who says this phrase. They only care about attaining whatever goal they’ve arbitrarily set for themselves. If they’ve never failed, they will have shallow goals that only benefit them. Only the worst people in the world would require this of themselves or others. If I had a boss who said this, I would do everything in my power to get away from being under them. If I can’t fail, I can’t be myself.

I was listening to a podcast and the person being interviewed said, “That’s a good question,” after several of the questions. I know it seems like a nice compliment to the interviewer, but the only people who say it do so all the time. It’s just a nervous tick some people have. I always want to say to them, “If it’s such a good question, why don’t you just answer it and give a good answer.” You prove it was a good question when you give a good answer. Some people dislike silence. Instead of thinking of the answer in silence, they speak useless words to give themselves a moment to think. It’s just as annoying as someone saying, “Umm,” throughout a speech.

In situations that require a quick statement such as “excuse me,” “hello,” or “I’m good,” I don’t say these things. I’m usually thinking in my head, so I take a while to figure out I should be saying something. By the time I figure it out, the moment is well over. The one thing I do is speak with my face. I smile or say whatever a face can say. There are no ready to go statements I can use because I don’t expect to say anything to people I don’t know. I occupy my time alone by having conversations with myself. Most of the conversation is unsaid even in my head. I think about things in words, images, feelings, and sounds. The only one who has to understand it is me, so I don’t bother making my thoughts understandable to others. Even when I’m dreaming, I rarely have conversations. They are mainly images and feelings.

I’m listening to a book by Frank Zappa that I read years ago. He talked about feeling like a weirdo from a young age. I think more than my ethnicity, up bringing, ancestry, or community, I relate to other weird people. We have a commonality of not fitting in to what most people call normal society. As he traveled through his life, Frank Zappa found himself unable to accept the illogical way most people lived their lives. People with power did not like him because he wouldn’t play by their illogical rules. If I don’t follow certain rules, it’s because those rules don’t make sense. He was the same. Am I comparing myself to Frank Zappa? Of course I am. We are both weirdos who saw the world for what it was. There aren’t many of us around. We need to appreciate one another because no one else is going to.