Yelling Instructions and Open Caskets – Thoughts from January 27, 2023

I’m terrible at non-creative tasks. If you tell me to create something or help figure something out, I can start thinking of possibilities right away. If you give me orders to follow, my brain panics and shuts down. I can memorize things on my own, but my conversational memory sucks. When I have written instructions, I can figure things out on my own. Audio is not my friend when trying to follow instructions. People who have a good conversational memory get frustrated with me and I get frustrated with them. My lack of hearing in my left ear definitely doesn’t help. When I see people on TV or movies getting angry at others for not following their orders exactly, I want to smack them in the face. They invariably call the person an idiot because that person forgot things. They purposely yell quick introductions at people they know are not following them. In their mind, they are the only smart person around instead of realizing their instruction style doesn’t work.

I was listening to an autobiographical book, and they talked about having an open casket for their brother who was a child when they died. Having an open casket funeral for a child is sick and disgusting. This was not the only disturbing thing the author’s parents did. I understand this is a thing that goes on in some religions, but it’s especially bad when young people see a child like themselves dead on display in front of them. It’s hard enough being a child and dealing with regular life. You should not have to deal with seeing a dead body. My parents took me to the funeral of the son of a coworker of my mom. He was in his twenties. It was an open casket and I remember it to this day. I remember how unnatural he looked. I was glad my parents didn’t take me to see the casket up close. It’s another example of how religious people are so far removed from reality that they can’t see how sick and disturbing this tradition is. Kids don’t have the built up reality denial of their parents so they see the ritual for what it is and the disturbing memories to go with it.

The world is a trigger zone for me. I can’t hide from people and things that disturb me. Christianity, hate, racism, sexism, and beliefs I find reprehensible permeate American society. Unless someone forces people to confront them, I think they rarely notice these things. Catholicism, Judaism, and other extreme religions require enormous commitments from their followers. The average Christian goes to church on holidays or when their parents require it. They do everything as a group so they don’t have to do that much individually. They don’t have to learn the Torah or confess their sins. There is no reason to declare themselves an ex-Christian. No one questions their commitment to their faith. It’s not like Christianity is hampering their ability to do whatever they want. In fact, if they’re a white male, they can get away with some pretty horrible behaviors. I know the uphill battle I’m against in waiting for people to accept their beliefs as false. They can ignore what is obvious to me.