Christmas Weight and Other Random Subjects – Thoughts from December 29, 2022

December 29, 2022

During all the Christmas eating, I gained six pounds. I do it every year during Christmas. My regular eating habits are such that I can lose it relatively easily. We still have New Years Eve coming up so it will probably go back up again. I feel crappy when my weight goes up. I know I’m using food to fill in the holes of my life with short bursts of pleasure. It’s only pleasure and not genuine happiness. I can admit these things to myself, but that doesn’t mean I can control myself any better when I’m alone. Patti doesn’t help me control myself because she doesn’t really control herself. Unhealthy foods seem like a minor concern when compared to a lifetime of smoking cigarettes.

Patti just told me she is sick. It doesn’t surprise me. She, of course, suspects it is Covid. It could be Covid because she went to her office two times this week. Her office is a haven of unhealthy people who collect illnesses with their stressful, sedentary ways. I don’t feel sick, but I don’t feel great because of the previously mentioned Christmas eating. Maybe if she gets sick, it will force her to eat better food and cut down on smoking. I would rather she get a minor illness and treat herself better than get a serious illness when it’s too late to do anything about it. I joke with her I will not be happy if I have to take care of her in her old age. It’s a joke until it comes true.

I see no sign that my future will be free from taking care of Patti. She never wants to discuss any of her health problems. Smoking is the most undiscussed of the problems. Whenever I bring it up, she stops talking or immediately talks about something else. I’m used to this from dealing with my dad as I was growing up. I would try to get him to stop smoking until I finally had to give up, because it would push him away from me. My mom had already stopped trying to get him to quit years before. It is a powerful addiction.

I was just in the restroom and the term “random subject generator” came to mind. My first thought was I am a random subject generator. They have several sites dedicated to generating random topics to start conversations with other people. I looked at some of them and they only seem to generate boring topics for boring conversations. We don’t need more boring conversations. Admittedly, many non-boring topics will get you in trouble with many other people. Conversations with strangers will always be boring. When you know someone, you learn what subjects they can handle. You should only discuss topics involving sex, religion, or politics with people you know well. The only safe subject with Patti is politics. We are completely on the same thoughts paper there. Religion and sex are still touchy subjects for both of us.