Raining Weirdness – Thoughts from October 17 – 23, 2022

October 17, 2022

They rejected my submission about my mom’s last days. It was a bit atheistic so I’ll try my traumas from childhood paper. If they don’t like that, maybe they just don’t like my style. In the time between starting this paragraph and now, I submitted the grade school traumas with a new intro and updated biography. I had to take out the junior high and high school parts because they made the word count double the submission limit. I learned from my failure and am trying again.

October 22, 2022

Today is a real catch twenty-two! I know. Right? If you don’t know what I mean, good. It’s about time you learned about ambiguity and the pleasure of not knowing. Sometimes I write to hear myself write. Writing is fun if you do it right. Some people write purposefully on assignments from someone else. I wouldn’t want to do that and don’t think I could. Writing my thoughts about the outside world is not the same as just writing about the outside world. The outside world is boring without my thoughts mixed in.

It’s raining hard core right now outside my van. Right as I typed that last sentence, it started raining even harder. I only noticed that I needed to go to the bathroom after the rain had started. The rain eventually stopped, and I could go. I didn’t mind the rain as much before I wore glasses. Even a light sprinkle is annoying with glasses on. If you don’t know why rain is annoying with glasses on, screw you. Few writers would tell their readers “screw you”, but, lucky you, I’m not a normal writer. I hope you enjoyed my paragraph about the rain. If you didn’t, keep reading because this paragraph is over.

I would promise not to insult the reader in this paragraph, but I respect you too much to lie to you. People’s insult-ability is not something I can predict. If you take anything I say seriously, there’s something wrong with you (or me). I know what’s wrong with me and I have accepted all my mental weirdnesses. Even though the grammar checker doesn’t like it, I’m keeping weirdnesses because I have more than one weirdness. If weirdness is a skill, I’ve mastered it.

October 23, 2022

I’ve had to pee quite often today. It seems like I’ve had to pee every half hour. I should point out that Patti doesn’t like it when I say “pee.” She would rather I say, “make wees.” I had to find out from Patti how she would spell “wees.” It’s pronounced like “wheeze.” The band Wheezer is taking on a whole new meaning for me. I always thought of “pee” as one of the nicer ways to say “urinating.” I asked her who taught her to say, “make wees.” She said, “No one. I just came up with it on my own.” If there’s anything that tells me I married the right person, it’s this.

I now know of a group that is worse than dog owners (okay, dog breed owners). The group I refer to is horse owners. Anyone who forces horses to work is who I am talking about. I used to work in the Assessor’s office, I handled race horses who they considered property. The horses were worth millions of dollars sometimes. Besides my revulsion to race tracks, I consider working horses to be indentured servants. Most of the time, I refer to them as slaves to the humans. People usually refer to how beautiful the horses are, but that is also how they refer to their cars. That a living being can be owned as property shows how far we still need to go as people and a world.