Test Results – Thoughts from July 26 and 28, 2022

July 26, 2022

I really should save this thought until tomorrow, but I had it today so screw you, Tomorrow. It involves the number 27. I think we should declare the age 27 as the early change of life. I got married when I was 27 so that was a definite change for me. Many rock stars, movie stars, and famous people died when they were 27. Other people I have known have mentioned 27 as the age they started gaining weight, had something traumatic happen, or made major life decisions. Is this all just a coincidence? Of course, it is. There is no reason to think there is a built-in human alarm going off in someone’s twenty-seventh year of life. It’s a Christmas coincidence in July!

I haven’t written much today because I had a real sweaty job to do. It’s hard to sweat and think at the same time. My scale will thank me tomorrow, but my Thoughts papers are cursing me today. I’m doing the same thing tomorrow, so expect the same thing or even less. (Future note: Sure enough, there were no written thoughts on July 27^th. It’s a good thing I wrote my profound thoughts about age 27 when I did. Future generations of Thoughts paper readers can rejoice in the lesson I kind of learn on this day. Every year, there should be a celebration that takes place on July 26^th, but it will actually commemorate July 27^th.)

July 28, 2022

The other day, I sent in a feces sample to my doctor in the mail. It’s nice that I don’t have to present it in person. Patti gets them too, but it seems like she either ignores the request or puts in by the toilet as if it’s going to collect and mail itself to the doctor. The letter that comes with the collection materials says to return it within 10 days. I don’t know what happens if you take longer than 10 days to return it. I should ask Patti. She probably knows. She lets the collection package sit by the toilet for months. I don’t think most of them get returned.

I got the results from my test today, and they were negative. Most people (Patti being one of them) would feel satisfied with this. Oh goody, I don’t have colon cancer. I want to know why the results are negative. The only information I could find on the results page of their website mentioned the component “GLOBIN 1, STOOL” that was negative. I clicked on a button that said, “About this test” and it led to a page that said, “Stool Test for Blood: About Your Child’s Test.” Apparently, concerned parents and me are the only ones who want to know more about what this test result means. Clicking on this new link, I found out the test is looking for blood in your stool. I’m almost disappointed to find this out. I was hoping to read they were checking for something more scientific than blood. It was like thinking I passed a test to become a doctor and finding out it was just a pamphlet to become a chiropractor.

I went to the eye doctor today to get new glasses and found out I could get an extra pair of glasses just for being on the computer for very little extra cost. I’m hoping the computer pair will allow me to write more in my home office. It will give me an excuse to be in office writing mode. It will be more official. (Full disclosure, I wrote the rest of this paragraph on 7/29/22, but it happened yesterday.) While I was waiting for the woman who was helping me to return, I overheard a woman tell the person who was helping her she had been crying. She got quiet so I couldn’t hear exactly what she was saying, but it had something to do with test results. In the past, I would have found the conversation awkward, but now I found it delightful that she was so accepting of her own tears and emotions.