Toilet Paper – Thoughts from July 11 and 13, 2022

July 11, 2022

I don’t know if I’ve talked about this, but I’m an over-wiper. I’m not happy until I see next to nothing on the toilet paper. It makes me wonder if other people even look at the toilet paper after they wipe. I also stand when I wipe. I guess my wiping style is partly because of my middle class upbringing. We had plenty of toilet paper available to waste. If I’ve ever been forced to not wipe enough, I usually whined up with what I call crusty butt. The worst is when I sweat and get swamp butt. I know swamp butt will eventually become crusty butt. Every time I sit down, I’m reminded of my butt situation.

I think everyone has such different toilet rituals because we all have such different backgrounds. Another problem is most parents don’t talk to their kids about wiping except to tell girls to wipe front to back. There should not only be a discussion, but a review of different techniques. I think it’s in the same category as sex. Neither side wants to admit they have questions. We could avoid many health problems if we did. Most of our health problems are from a lack of communication. These bad habits can lead to many serious health problems down the line.

If you have parents who are health nuts, you are lucky. I did not. I had parents who were into chiropractors and homeopathic remedies. The health nuts I am talking about are ones who listen to doctors and nutritionists or are themselves health experts. If we hear from these experts as adults, we are past the point of taking advice from other adults. If my future Reality Acceptance classes were happening now, we would teach this to kids in elementary school. Wiping is a definite reality that needs to be discussed.

July 13, 2022

I’m going to start this Thoughts paper out by talking about my past Thoughts papers. I started looking back at the earliest thoughts that I actually wrote (or typed). The earliest I could find was from 1991. I was in my early years of college and barely the wise and confident adult I am today. My plan is to clean up the grammar and post them probably on Reality Acceptance with a context paragraph before them explaining what time it was in my life. David Sedaris influenced me to do this, but my diary entries are less autobiographical than his. If I were to do what he did, I would have to walk around with a recorder because I don’t remember what people say to me. I’m also more of a thinker than a talker.

Something I can remember from today is getting scratched by Beatrix. I was turning on the shower and she jumped up on the toilet beside the shower. Normally, I can pick her up and take her into the bedroom because I don’t want her in the bathroom when I’m showering. Today, she freaked out and scratched me when I picked her up. I don’t know what was different today, but I won’t pick her up for a while to keep the rest of my skin scar free. She scratched a large scar on my arm and drew two dots of blood on my face. Luckily, you can’t really see the ones on my face. Cats are funny, unless they’re tattooing you with scars.

Okay, this thing just happened. I was driving a vehicle by some horses and a woman yelled out for me to slow down. Keep in mind, they were off the road and I was going less than 10 miles per hour. The vehicle I was in was loud so she might have thought I was going faster than I was, but she was yelling as if I was about to run the horses over. If I was going to run anyone over, it would be the horse wranglers to free the horses. They couldn’t and wouldn’t have run away, but that wouldn’t have stopped me. I’m not a fan of people who ride horses or keep them in stables. The horses choose neither of these things. They force these things on them. Just because they don’t buck everyone who gets on them off is not consent. That horse wranglers treat other people badly proves they do not have a grasp of logical ethics.

I told Patti about my discussion of wiping from my last Thoughts paper and she only said that most people wipe until they see almost nothing on the toilet paper. The deepness of my wiping into the crevice of the area probably distinguishes me from others. I think that adds to my number of wipes. I’m a deep thinker and a deep wiper. It’s good to know that, after 25 years of marriage, Patti still gets me. She gave me a look that said, “Why do you have to write these things?” To this, I say, “Why not?”