Wearing Masks – Thoughts from April 13 and 15, 2022

April 13, 2022

I listened to this book that was a scientific look at sex. I told Patti some of the interesting and weird stuff from it, but I didn’t tell her about any of the female stuff. It seems to be a sensitive topic for her. It’s been growing in sensitivity for years. I can only guess what the problem is because she won’t tell me. (Future note: I put actual guesses to what her problem could be. Looking back, I realized I would be better off not guessing. If she wanted to tell me, she would. I gave her more stupid advice about what could help her. The advice upon further reflection was just more of the same stupid man talk.) I know it would help if she would start looking at the reality of her health, but I also know talking about it is the quickest way to stop her from talking to me.

I exercised on Monday for the first time in a while. The next day, my weight was about the same. That’s better than my previous days off. Yesterday (Tuesday) I didn’t exercise, and I gained two pounds this morning (Wednesday). We’ll see what the story is tomorrow. Being at work usually leads to losing weight.

Today was my first day at work where we didn’t have to wear our masks inside if you were fully vaccinated. I’ve gone to the grocery store recently and not worn my masks inside. The only people I saw wearing their masks were people who looked much healthier than the ones not wearing them, so I eventually put mine back on. My main reason I like wearing my mask is so A-holes don’t think I’m one of them. People think I’m like them because I’m old, white, and male like they are, but those are probably the only similarities you could find between us. There are very few people in the world who think like I do. I know this because I’ve looked. There are people who come close, but not many. Being an atheist, not liking competition, and caring about others makes me undesirable to many people.

Some people begin every sentence with “I believe …” My first impulse is to say I don’t give a crap what they believe. I only care what people know. Most people don’t actually know much. They know what they believe, but that is not actual knowledge. We have made “believe” into a positive word, but it is not. You must believe in Santa Claus because he doesn’t exist. Even believing in yourself is not as good as knowing yourself. Trump believes in himself, but he is definitely not a good person. There is ample evidence of that.

April 15, 2022

I’m listening to a book about the American version of The Office. It’s a behind the scenes look at the making of the show. I saw reviews of it saying it disappointed them that the cast of the show didn’t voice their own quotes. I’m fine with voice actors who sound somewhat like the actors reading those parts. It would have been almost impossible to find audio of the actors saying what they said. It would be even more difficult getting the rights for the audio from the various sources. Many people don’t realize what they want isn’t always possible. One person said it would have been better if one person read the whole book. I think that would have been worse. People like to say what should have been instead of just dealing with what was. They live life pointing out the problems with the world instead of pointing out what they enjoyed.

Patti said she has lost weight recently. It’s hard to tell what time span she is talking about. It could be months or years. She says she doesn’t see how she looks any different. She has noticibly lost weight. I tried to get her to see how changing her diet could allow her to lose even more weight. I made the mistake of only mentioning cutting down on sugar and soda to start. She used that as an opportunity to dismiss her sugar intake and not mention the soda at all. Patti is not stupid, but she is stubborn. She can deflect any subject she doesn’t want to talk about. I know I’m just wishing she would change her diet and that’s not the reality. I guess I should just enjoy Patti while she’s still around, but that’s hard because even her weight loss seems like an excuse to care about her health even less.

Everyone should write like I’m doing right now. I deal with many of my more difficult problems while writing. Dreams can help you see what issues you are dealing with, but they don’t help you solve your issues like writing does. I can talk about The Office, Patti, and my hopes for other people in the same Thoughts paper. This is the closest thing to organizing my weird thoughts I’ve found. I just think things and immediately write them here. I do little to no editing on these Thoughts. They are the closest thing to my real thoughts that others can understand. (Future note: I’m realizing how much my thoughts need editing. What I think is not always something I want to share with the world.)

This might be it for today. We’ll see.