Pooping Cat – Thoughts from March 13 and 20, 2022

March 13, 2022

Today, I have an adorable story about Beatrix. She is the smallest of Scout’s kittens even though they’re not kittens anymore. I was on the toilet and she was in front of me in one of the litter boxes. She was facing away from me and scratching out a good spot to do her thing. As she was scratching, I could see action happening out her back end. Slowly but surely a poo was making its way out. It hit the top of the litter just as she turned around to fill the hole she had just made. When she finished filling the hole, she scraped at her original small poo. It was like she was rolling it in the litter rather than just covering it. Eventually, she turned back around and covered the hole and its contents with litter. She walked out of the litter box and looked up at me, meowing, “Aren’t you done yet?” I looked down at her and said, “I haven’t even started.”

We just had the really sucky time change this morning. At 2:00 am, the time sprang forward an hour. You lose an hour and gain a lack of sleep. No matter how I try to prepare, it always makes me tired for days after. I won’t go in to how we should have gotten rid of the time change years ago because it’s the same every year. We supposedly voted to end it in the last election, but apparently it wasn’t real. None of this is real and we should never take it seriously. Life is just a rerun of past years. I don’t like reruns. They bore me. For the next paragraph, I’ll change the channel.

(Future note: There was no next paragraph, so I added this future note. I’ve got your next paragraph right here. It’s adorably short and cute.)

March 20, 2022

Loudness! I’m trying to wake myself up for this Thoughts paper. I feel tired today. One could say I feel tired every day, but today I’m tired and I really don’t know why. When I really think about it, I can piece together the sleepy tapestry of my day. It just takes more energy and brain resources than I have right now. I just thought of something to talk about so I’m going to stop this paragraph.

The brilliant thing I thought of is my weight. I’ve been losing weight when I work, but gaining it right back on my days off. It comes down to my diet on my days off. I don’t eat horribly. Although, I consumed half a container of dairy-free ice cream on my last days off. I should mention it was Ben and Jerry’s. I just don’t eat what I eat at work, which is steamed vegetables, brown rice, garbanzo beans, and a ton of spices. My first day off coming up is when I have my 15-year party. That day will be like my past days off. After that, I will eat my work meal at home. That should allow my weight to continue to lower on my days off.

Another problem at home is our squishy couch in our den. Patti has fallen asleep many times on it. I could blame the many shows I watch late into the night, but it is the couch that traps you in it’s squishy comfort and begs you to stay in it’s clutches. The cats literally can’t jump on the armrests because they are so squishy. I used to blame my past weight gain when I went to work on my late-night snacks, but I think it was really sitting on the couch that did it. Now, I come home and go right to bed, skipping the snack and the couch. I still have snacks on my way home from work, further adding to the credibility of the squishy couch conspiracy. We should bring back our older, more uncomfortable, and stiffer couch.

I just sneezed a three in a row sneeze. It made me spit my work snack into my hand. There were pieces of the mixed nuts I was eating in my palm. I don’t sneeze that much these days, despite having 5 cats at home. They definitely don’t explain my current sneeze-fest because I’m at work and I don’t think any cats have been in the van I’m in. There are definitely cats at my work, but they don’t usually want anything to do with the vans. The only thing I know is I’m dying. Maybe not today, but someday. It will happen.