Valentine’s Day – Thoughts from February 17, 2004

I have a thought. Well, that’s good, Brian, because this is the place for such things, being as this is the Thoughts 2/17/04 paper. Let’s go! Okay!

Oh yeah, this is 2004. This is my first Thoughts paper for 2004. This is not to be confused with my first thought of 2004. 2003, I hardly knew thee, what with all the tragedies I had to endure during your time. When in the face of great tragedy, one must rise above the fray and lead himself and others to victory (or, at least, a better 2004).

Patti and I have been working on the “Den” (formerly Patti’s office) and other workers have worked on other parts of the house. This has left little to no time for working on my writings, music, or art. I started working on a song the other day and we had to get to work. This lack of creativity is pissing me off and depressing me. When I have a spare moment for something, I only have enough time to figure out what I’m going to do, but not enough time to do it. I began working on a song (Always) on Monday morning. I worked an hour on it, but had to stop because we had work on the Den to do. In the end, I don’t even know if working on songs is profitable. I need to work on my writing, but I have a hard time doing that when I’m at home. I worked a little bit on Special Class by watching parts of The Graduate and Coming to America, but I was just refreshing my memory on them. (Future note: Special Class was an animated show I was creating. It was originally called Brian’s Brain about a boy who had my childhood and my propensity for daydreaming. The title changed when I wanted to focus more on the class itself. I still have the script of the first episode and outlines for other episodes. I was going through some of my favorite movies, looking for references to use in the episode. More about this and my other creations can be found at BrianCreates.com.)

I’ve been drinking (alcohol) too much. I need to stop it. There is a family history and all. We had Valentine’s Day and completion of the Den celebrations this past Saturday. Between Patti and I, we cleared two bottles of champagne and one bottle of wine. We also had stuff like shrimp, sushi, crackers, cheese, dip, caviar, capers wrapped in anchovies, etc. At one point, I knew I was way too buzzed, so I stopped drinking alcohol and kept trying to drink the alcohol away with nonalcoholic beverages. Not near-beer, just beverages without alcohol in them. This new liquid never caught up with the alcohol, but my stomach still hurts.

Being responsible sucks. I’ve messed up paying bills by missing due dates. Tax season is here and I need to figure out what I’m going to do about my mom’s taxes. Patti’s going to take ours to someone who does her mom’s taxes (I think). I’m just feeling overwhelmed by all the responsibility. What happened to becoming a rock star and having accountants and other people handle all the “boring” stuff for me? Some people enjoy this whole responsibility thing. Most people act like they hate the responsibility, but they always tell the story of what they had to do to “get things done” for themselves and others. They joke about hating the responsibility, but they always take it on. I hate the responsibility, but I try to avoid it when I can. I also need to clean my room (I mean my office), but that’s nothing new.