Hating my Job – Thoughts from October 1, 2002

I begin again again. Yes, Mr. Grammar Checker, I meant to repeat the again again. I did it again. The question is, what did I begin again? I began the pursuit of the dream. I started several semesters ago attending The Animation Academy, pursuing the animation dream. Now, I’m going to get a job (on the weekends) at Disneyland. I don’t care what it is, how much I get paid, or how much I really like the job. Either way, I’m going to be working at Disneyland. I’m hoping my job requires I use the underground tunnels (or, at least, that I can visit them), but just being able to go behind the buildings is cool enough. I will be in the ultimate position of behind the scenesedness. Yes, Mr. Spell Checker, I meant to say “scenesedness.” I’m thinking a ticket taker, or a ride operator would be cool. Those, along with employment specialist type jobs, are the kinds of things I’m trying to do. I don’t think I’m really qualified for any of the full-time jobs, but if I can work on the weekends and actually make some cash, it will be good all around.

I’m surprised I made it through the last paragraph. Today, I’m more tired than I was yesterday. Yesterday, I got two hours of sleep the night before. I can already tell none of these sentences are going to make any sense, but that’s their charm. When I’m tired, I’m more creative. That’s what I tell myself, anyway. The other night (during the two hours of sleep episode), I drew three pictures. One reason I drew them so late was because the pictures I was using as reference for the drawings were from pornographic magazines. It’s hard to justify art when its source is porn. Actually, they are the best references for drawing humans because they are usually naked. I’m not advanced enough to draw people with clothes yet. At least, that’s the excuse I use. The other reason I was drawing so late at night was because I couldn’t sleep.

We just came off of a week’s stay in Laughlin. By the end of the week, I was in bed as late as 11:00 AM. Considering I had to get up at 5:25 AM (not 5:20 AM or 5:30 AM), this did not mix. I was not ready to go to bed at the required 9-10 PM time. I also wasn’t ready to go to bed at 11, 12, or 13 O’clock. Yes, Mr. Military Timekeeper, I meant to say 13 O’clock. I’m a walking comedy dictionary. Somewhere around 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, I made my way back to bed to get some sleep. Last night, I took an antihistamine which, for some reason, I’m still feeling at 2:00 in the afternoon. All morning, I spent applying for Disney jobs and not doing any work. Now, I’m typing this. Why is it I think I hate my job? What the hell do I do?

I need to exercise somehow. My pants are too tight, I have too little energy, and I just don’t feel sexy. Ironically, the problem with doing more exercise is not having enough energy or time to exercise. We have the treadmill, and I just don’t use it. It’s been folded up by the TV for weeks. Actually, that understates it. I haven’t been on the treadmill in months. The best time to exercise would probably be in the morning, but I have to be at work at 7:00 AM. I already get up at 5:25 AM (not 5:20 AM or 5:30 AM), I can’t really see getting up earlier than 5:25 AM (not 5:20 AM or 5:30 AM). I may have to do it, though.

Patti and I checked into getting a house and looked at our credit scores. I got our FICO scores. I don’t want to say what they were, but they weren’t at their best. There are some things we can do to help them, but none of the fixes are quick. We also need to start a savings plan. In about two months, my Consumer Credit payments will be done. That money can definitely go toward our savings.

Our neighbors are all getting worse. We don’t have one neighbor we can even tolerate. We tried to go to Laughlin to win money and get away from our neighbors, but we only accomplished not seeing our neighbors for a while. I was in a slot tournament where I could have won up to $5000. They didn’t give a prize for the lowest slot score, so I didn’t win any money. We didn’t have any better luck on the real slots. The house dream is still there, it’s just more in the future now.

Well, I’m tired of not working. I’m going to do some of it right now.