Thoughts from December 4, 1994

The Diary of Wienie Frank

How the funky chicken are ya? One of these days, I’m going to wake up and smell the coffee bean hair balls. Today, I’m looking at my life with a newfound fear. I’m afraid I may be in that well known psychological state known as Laziana (for people from Nebraska, that’s Lazy-ana). (Future note: The only reason I pick on Nebraskans is because my dad is from Nebraska. For my relatives in Nebraska, I’m mainly talking about you.) I’m not doing what I know I should be doing. I’m only doing what I feel like doing (and saying “doing” one more time is something I probably shouldn’t be doing). My mind wants to kill people, but my body says that’s too much work. I know what I need to do, but I don’t do it because I’m “not ready yet.” Well, I guess it’s time I stop being “not ready yet” and try being “ready yet.”

Here’s my plan:

Every day, I vow to send out at least one resume, script, or letter of enquiry about a job in a field closer to my future chosen career(s). If I skip a day, of course, the next day I will have to send out two blah, blah, or blahs. To accomplish this task, I will look in the classified ads, in the Backstage West weekly publication, or in other forms of job finding materials. To prove these are not just words and I will actually do these things, I will … I’ll … I … Oh, hell. I’ll just have to take my own word for it and hope for humankind’s sake it is done to my specifications. Ah hah, I’ve thought of something! As real proof, I will finish the letters I started to the Disney Imagineers and send them off with the stamps I’ve had sitting around here for weeks now.

Other than that, I’ve been a little down lately.

On a positive note (pun slightly intended), ever since I got my Sound Canvas SCB-55 for my computer (do I sound like a computer geek or is it more of a music nerd thing), my music has sounded much better and closer to how I eventually want it to sound. I played a tape from some people at work, and they all seemed (emphasis on the word seemed) to like it. Those who gave actual opinions and not just two-word critiques seemed to enjoy the songs and were surprised at their quality. Ricky (not his real name) mentioned one person who frequents his café in the mountains who worked in the music business doing studio work, etc.. Ricky suggested I give him a tape of my music to let him hear and, if nothing else, tell me what’s wrong with it. There’s also a possibility he could show it to some producers he knows, but I’m not a naive beginner (though I am a beginner) to this business.

I wrote a song about fashion that almost sounds like a dance song. I get away with it in my mind because it’s not exactly a dance song, and it’s not really about fashion. It’s more about how stupid I think the world of fashion is. The basic premise of the song is I’d rather see my wife (fictitious as she may be) in nothing than someone else’s idea of fashionable sexiness. Kind of like the I’d-rather-be-nude-than-be-in-fur (or however they say it) campaign, but without all the red paint being splashed around.

Hello, I’m speaking from the future. Weird, isn’t it? Actually, I typed this paragraph before I typed the previous two paragraphs, but who counts the frogs in a pond when they’re all keeping you up at night? Anyway, I have reworked the letters to the Disney Imagineers (one [name redacted] and one [other name redacted]) and put them in the mail. I just hope I don’t sound like too much of a geek/dork/dweeb/nerd/shmuck/idiot/self-absorbed windbag/shoe salesman in the letters.

Other than that, I’ve been a little down lately.